


Dating Game

by amuk



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Community: 31_days, F/M, Friendship, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, One-Sided Relationship, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-27
Updated: 2013-01-27
Packaged: 2017-11-27 04:43:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/658135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amuk/pseuds/amuk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is something heartbreaking about their position, Sakura realizes as she sits in front of Kakashi for the nth time. It is also something that will never change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dating Game

**Author's Note:**

> Day/Prompt: August 29/The aftertaste is going to break your heart.

“Sakura.” His voice comes from behind her and she swiftly turns.

 

“Kakashi-san?” She thinks she should be more surprised to see the confused look on his face and red stains on his shirt, but he appears like this every time. His girlfriends always find someway to attack him before he leaves. This time it looks as though they tossed wine at him. Perhaps a platter of fruit too because there are a few leaves in his hair.

 

“Sakura can you help me?”

 

He always asks the same question.

 

“Of course.”

 

And she always gives the same answer.

 

-x-

 

“What did you do this time?” she asks as she sips her coffee, savoring the fading warmth. It’s bitter and she makes a slight face as she looks across the table to him.

 

“Nothing.” His face is relaxed as he sits there in front of her, reading a book as usual. The cover is a hideous orange, with a title and diagrams showing everyone just what he is reading.

 

“Really?” She raises an eyebrow. “Nothing? Then why would she dump her wine on your suit, through a bunch of grapes at your hair, and yell at you in front of a restaurant?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“At least the last time, your girlfriend just gave a quiet goodbye. Small tears from her side, but not this flashy.”

 

“…well…she did mention something about—” Kakashi giggles as he turns the page in his book and Sakura sighs.

 

“You know,” she tells him as she takes the book out of his hands, “this might be the reason.” She has the book in front of her, holding it up with only two fingers and her face scrunches up in disgust.

 

“No, that wouldn’t be the reason. This book is a way of life.” Kakashi’s voice holds enthusiasm and he smiles lightly.

 

Sakura fights off the threatening blush because _damn, can he smile_. Normally, he wears a scarf or something to hide his face, but the few moments that he does show his face…she sighs happily at the thought.

 

“If you showed that much emotion when you talked to your girlfriends, we wouldn’t be in this situation,” she tells him as she stares, trying to memorize his face until the next time she sees it.

 

“Emotion?” She notices his face is covered by the menu now (why does he always try to hide his face?) and she can tell by his eyes that he’s grinning. “Oh, I showed _that_.”

 

She gets the feeling he’s talking about the book and steers the conversation away quickly. “Well, should I set you up on another date?”

 

“What about my problems?” he whispers this, like it’s a conspiracy, and she rolls her eyes at his childishness.

 

“I thought you wanted another date.”

 

He gasps, looking at her with big eyes, and she winces. _He’s doing it again_ , she thinks as she watches his face transform into the saddest face in existence.

 

“Sakura-chan, does this mean you don’t want to help fix this? You don’t want to spend time and figure out what’s wrong?” He looks put out and she hastily replies.

 

“No, that’s not it. I just—”

 

He cuts her off there, having heard all he needs to here. “Good.” He gets up and pets her head. “See you here tomorrow, eight in the morning.” His hand ruffles her strawberry hair and she sighs as she watches him walk away.

 

Sakura feels like a little girl around him.

 

-x-

 

“Kakashi-san, when I’m supposed to help you, this does not mean you will just sit there and read.” She taps her feet on the ground, her hands on her hips, and her face in one of the scariest glares she can manage.

 

“Hmmm?” He turns a page, giggling and people turn to look at the strange man. Sakura huffs and turns slightly red because now she is associated with him. She glares at him again.

 

Needless to say, it has no effect on him. He just continues to read his book, sounding like a schoolgirl, and she finally decides to grab the book away.

 

He dodges at the last minute.

 

“Now, Sakura, why are you trying to ruin my fun?” He looks up at her, an understanding look coming into his eyes—he’s wearing a scarf this time. His book is safely in his coat and he nods slightly as he answers his own question. “Are you jealous, Sakura? Am I not spending enough time with you? If it’s about the book, I can’t let you read it yet—”

 

“No!” she shouts back, flushing. “I just don’t want to waste time waiting for you to finish reading. I already waited over two hours for you.”

 

“I was helping an old lady and now I was at the good part of the book,” Kakashi starts to whine, “Where Suki and Kyo were in this hotel and—”

 

“Kakashi-san, I don’t want to hear _this_.” **Porn is the first thing to go** , she writes into her pad, **and then maybe that giggle of his.** She grins wickedly at him and he shivers.

 

“So, what are we doing?”

 

Sakura twitches at that question, closing her eyes and rubbing her temples. “Kakashi-san, are you telling me you didn’t have anything planned out?”

 

“…” Kakashi doesn’t answer.

 

“You didn’t have anything at all?” Still no answer and she continues, “Well, I guess I will just have to make a plan. You know, there are some valuable things we should do today. Like buying you a watch and—”

 

She hears a small sound and opens her eyes.

 

He’s reading again.

 

“ _Kakashi-san!_ ”

 

-x-

 

“Hmm…” Kakashi turns to her and she quickly looks at something else. It’s amazing what a suit can do to a person and she mentally clicks a picture of his appearance.

 

“Yes?” She controls her voice carefully as she finally looks back at him.

 

“Sakura-chan.” Uh oh. He’s used that suffix again. “Let’s do this again soon.”

 

 _How about not?_ She wants to say that because nothing can ever be worth spending a day with him. He just ended up wasting her time. They went from place to place except she almost always ended up losing him.

 

(He needs a tracker or something. A glance at a window should not last half an hour.)

 

“We learned a lot today,” she words carefully, “and I can help you, but I don’t think we need to do this again.”

 

“Am I really not that fun to be around?” His eyes are weepy again. “Are you that bored of me? Maybe have a boyfriend you want to hang out with?”

 

“Well…” She doesn’t actually have a boyfriend, her love life currently empty, but making up one wouldn’t hurt. “I do have a boy—”

 

“Sakura-chan, are they really more important than me?”

 

“Uh…sort of but…”

 

“Good, then we’ll do this next weekend.” He smiles at her and while she can’t see his face, her breath catches all the same.

 

-x-

 

“Have you ever considered buying a watch?” she asks him one day, when he arrives at their meeting three hours late.

 

“The road of life needs no watches or clocks.”

 

“But the road of girlfriends does. No one wants to wait three hours for some guy.” She tries to sound firm because he wants her help—at least she thinks he does. Sometimes it is hard to tell with him, with his half-serious words and joking grin—and she intends on giving it.

 

No matter how harsh she has to be.

 

“Ahh…” He has a thoughtful look on his face and she thinks that maybe, just maybe, her words have had an effect on him. She can tell he’s smiling at her through the scarf. “Not some guy. They’ll be waiting for _me_.”

 

Or maybe not.

 

She frowns at him. “You should be happy I’m your friend and I’m helping you. Your other friends probably don’t like this either.”

 

His eyes soften and he shakes his head. “One would have liked this.”

 

“One?” she questions quietly, not wanting to prod but unable to help herself. The still air makes her whisper, fearful that a loud noise will ruin the feeling.

 

“Yes,” he answers, “There was one that would have loved this. In fact, he’d be very happy about this.” She hears the word _was_ and she almost asks about it when he continues.

 

“He helped old ladies too,” Kakashi tells her, grinning, and the mood is broken. “In fact, he did it even more than me. Do you want to meet him? We can meet tomorrow…”

 

“No! Did you corrupt him too?” Sakura screeches, frustrated. “Get a watch! Be on time! This is why some of your girlfriends leave you.”

 

“They take hours themselves,” he points out and she tries to resist the temptation to hit him.

 

“But you take _longer_.”

 

He can’t argue about that and they remain silent for a moment. She glances at him, wondering about his past, and then looks away. She doesn’t have any right to ask him.

 

“Again, on Wednesday?”

 

-x-

 

 _Don’t fall in love with him,_ they told her. She gazed at them, confused.

 

“Why would I fall in love with him?”

 

 _Don’t fall in love with him_ , they repeated and she started running (runningrunningrunning) toward them, over and over and **over** again but got nowhere.

 

“Why would I want him? He’s late and tricks me and—”

 

 _Don’t fall in love with him._ That sentence replayed in her mind, never stopping, the song of her doom, and then she is awake.

 

-x-

 

She watches him today; watches him walk, watches him eat, watches him talk. He is a man of mystery, that much she knows. When they first met, he only told her his name. Even today, five years after that meeting, she still doesn’t know his age or birthday. He never mentioned his family, his friends, or even what his hobbies are outside of the books.

 

Sakura thinks he might be trying to escape his past and this is the only reason, besides the first year or two, she doesn’t pry. Everyone has skeletons in their closest and his are private. She lets him come to her when he wants to, usually because of his latest break-up, but she never goes to him herself.

 

Still, he could at least give her his favourite colour or song.

 

“What’s wrong?” he asks and Sakura blinks in surprise. She forgot to watch him, thinking about what she does know and what she doesn’t. She hadn’t even noticed she started frowning.

 

(When she realized that all she knows for sure is his porn collection, his name, and where he sleeps at night, she couldn’t help but look irritated.)

 

“Nothing,” she smiles now, knowing it’s too late to erase what he saw but trying anyways.

 

“Sakura,” he warns and she determinedly ignores him.

 

“Hmm…I’m hungry. You too?”

 

“Sakura.” And she cringes, hearing that tone in his voice. He’s going to make her talk, she just knows it. “Am I boring you that much?”

 

“What?” She gapes at him for a moment, still expecting to hear the usual reprimands and penetrative comments. “No, you aren’t!” She gathers her wits and tries not to give him a questioning look.

 

“Really?” Kakashi frightens her and she wonders why he’s looking at her like that. “Then, we’re going there.”  He leads the way, not pulling her behind him—

 

And she feels slightly disappointed by the empty air in her hands. There are no warm hands grabbing hers, no fingers twining—and she reminds her self that this is just a simple job and she shouldn’t try to wish for things that won’t come.

 

“Kakashi-san, we are not looking at R-rated videos.” That is the only thing she is firm on and she ignores his baleful look. “Go do some of that training or whatever.”

 

“Oh, trying to get rid of me so quick? I’m wounded.”

 

“Stop twisting my words!”

 

He is infuriating and he knows that. She can tell by the smile in his eyes that he knows his words are making her angry.

 

“This is another reason they all break up with you!” She yells this, hoping to finally catch him off guard, and immediately regrets her words.

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t—”

 

“Sakura, yelling is not a good way of helping.” He pats her head again and looks at her absently. “I promised that I’d teach you something recently, right? A new way of copying those documents of yours?”

 

“Yes, but now? Kakashi-san, I thought we are trying to help your relationship mistakes.” The words sound awkward and wrong even as she says them, but she doesn’t know how else to put it.

 

“You helped me enough today. Shouldn’t I work first at improving these ‘faults’ before continuing? We’ll have that lesson soon.” He’s evading her question again, just like he tries to avoid everything else.

 

“Fine…”

 

“Good, then it’s a date?”

 

“Of course.”

 

And she didn’t say that because of the word date.

 

-x-

 

“Sakura,” he asks her one day, “What do you think of mistakes?”

 

“Mistakes?” She turns to look at him. “What do you mean?”

 

“Mistakes,” he replies simply, “When you do something you shouldn’t have, when you choose one thing when you should have chosen the other.”

 

“Oh.” She thinks her words over carefully. This is an important topic to him; she can tell because his eyes are soft and glazed. He always looks like that when he’s serious. “Well, I think you should apologize. Or try to make it right.”

 

“Like Naruto tried with you?”

 

“Like he—Wait! No, he didn’t try to apologize. He just tried to take another picture of me!” She flushes, thinking back to Naruto and his camera. How he managed to sneak into her apartment is still a mystery to her.

 

“Oh? Those flowers weren’t an apology then?”

 

“They were from him? I didn’t know that…” She makes a mental note to cook for Naruto later.

 

“What about mistakes that can’t be fixed like that?” He’s serious again.

 

“I don’t know…maybe you can try your best to fix things and then just hope for the rest to work out.”

 

“Hope?” Kakashi smiles at her. She wishes she could see his face properly. “Such a positive thinker.”

 

“What?” She is defensive now. “Hope is a good thing. It’s something everyone has and it is one of the only things that allow people to keep living.”

 

“I thought my Icha Icha books did that.”

 

“As if.” Sakura mock glares. “Hope is better. It’s stronger.”

 

“Aa…” Kakashi is silent and Sakura wonders if she told him the right thing. “I’ll start hoping, then.”

 

-x-

 

Kakashi likes keeping things a secret. He’ll never reveal things unless he wants to and even then, he gives it in riddles and clues. It is just something he does, a self defense mechanism built over the years. It protects him, something he can trust when everything else crumbles away.

 

“Kakashi,” Sakura asked him when they first met, “Where did you come from?”

 

“Well, when two people love each other—”

 

“Not that! I meant, where is your home, who are your parents, who do you love?”

 

He knew what she meant, it was obvious but he chose to keep her guessing. Evading questions came to him as easily as breathing. “Who do I love? I’m sorry, Sakura, but you are a little inexperienced and young for me.”

 

He admired the bright shade of red she turned. “W-W-What?” Sakura sputtered, “That’s NOT why I was asking!” She glared at him and he merely smiled.

 

It was too easy with her, distracting her from finding out the truth. To keep the past where it is, keep the accident and the (bleeding, dying, broken) friends where they should remain, as his nightmares.

 

Now, when he thinks about it, he wonders if he grew too adept at this. Sakura stopped asking questions about him for a few years now.

 

Too bad, now that he feels like actually telling her about himself.

 

-x-

 

 _Don’t fall in love with him._ They appeared again, in the shadows of her mind, and she tried to ignore them.

 

 _Don’t_ —

 

“Fall in love with him,” Sakura completed, “I know. And I won’t, don’t worry about that. I’m just a little lonely. I’ll just have to go and get a boyfriend or something. Maybe a pet.”

 

 _Perhaps._ They looked at her and she could suddenly see their eyes. There was a look of pity in there, a look of understanding as though they saw something she didn’t (couldn’t) see.

 

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” she cried, grabbing, reaching, pulling on their clothes and she is curled up, panting, as the sunlight blankets her.

 

-x-

 

Honestly, she shouldn’t care so much about him. She’s in his living room, putting a wet cloth on his forehead and nibbling her lip. Kakashi is sick and it isn’t surprising considering what his apartment looked like.

 

There used to be piles of junk everywhere, books lying scattered on the floor, and a layer of dust on furniture.

 

After helping him earlier, she had quickly cleaned up the room.

 

“How could you live in such a mess?” she asks, wringing out the previous cloth.

 

His eyes flutter open and he looks at her, a distant smile on his face. “Rin?” He is seeing someone else, she realizes.

 

“Rin, I’m…I’m sorry,” he continues, feverish. “Tell Obito that too…I didn’t…I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

 

“It’s me, Sakura,” Sakura whispers to him. He doesn’t seem to hear her, still talking to the ghosts of his past.

 

“I doubt I’ll be forgiven, though. I should have been more careful and instead I killed you…”

 

Sakura’s breathe hitches as he speaks brokenly. On his face is a look of loss, completely open and for a moment she can see the real him.

 

“It’s fine.” She grabs his hand, squeezing it. “It’s fine.” She reassures him, stroking his hair.

 

His eyes close and he sleeps again, peacefully now. “I better go make some soup.” Trying to get up, she stops when her hand is tugged.

 

He’s still holding onto it, not letting go even as she tries to pry his fingers off. Sighing, she sits down in front of the couch. “I could use a nap,” she reasons with herself as her eyes slowly droop.

 

Soon she’s asleep, a smile on her face.

 

-x-

 

Sakura looks at herself in the mirror, assessing her clothes before she frowns at herself. This isn’t a date so she shouldn’t act like it’s one. She’ll just expect the usual. Kakashi arriving late, messily dressed and doing something she really doesn’t want to do.

 

It’s hard to remind herself of this when she stands later in front of their meeting place, dressed in a summer dress with perfume dabbed on her wrists. She is an hour late and fortunately, Kakashi only arrives half an hour after her.

 

His eyebrow rises at the sight of her but he doesn’t ask any questions.

 

“So, what are we doing today?” Sakura finally asks Kakashi as they walk down the street. He turns and gives her a lopsided smile.

 

“I’m going to be a proper gentleman,” he tells her, leading her into a small restaurant. He pulls out a chair for her to sit on, before sitting on his side.

 

“How was that?” He looks eager to please and she nods.

 

“It’s good.” An invisible ‘so far’ hangs in the air and she wonders what he’ll do about it.

 

“I’ve prepared all week for this final test.” Her heart plummets to her feet, stopping for a moment, and she forgets how to breathe. “We’ll be done with this then.”

 

“Oh.” Her voice sounds weak. “I see. Well, when you pass…good luck…”

 

Kakashi looks at her curiously. “Are you alright? You look pale.”

 

“No, it’s nothing.”

 

He sighs, relieved. “I can’t have my match-maker get sick on me. How else will I meet people? I’m hungry, so I’m ordering.” Picking up a menu, he scans it for something he likes.

 

Her heart beats again, and she gives a smile. He didn’t mean she would have to leave him.

 

Glancing at her own menu, Sakura pauses for a moment. Why was she so relieved at this? Why did she feel disappointed in the first place?

 

Maybe it is because…

 

She refuses to go down that train of thought. Instead she orders.

 

Sakura does not love Kakashi. There is just no way that could be possible. He is just so annoying sometimes, making her angry over nothing and—

 

Looking over the menu, she sees him looking at her, thoughtfully, and Sakura is caught.

 

-x-

 

 _Don’t fall in love with him,_ they told her again. They hovered around her, waiting for an answer.

 

“It’s too late,” she answered, “far too late.”

 

 _Really?_ They look amused. _Are you sure?_

“Yes,” she replied, mentioning nothing of the fluttering wings and fruity smells that lingered even in her dreams. She didn’t have to talk about the passing touches and cocky grins because they already knew.

 

 _He’s a heartbreaker. Good luck,_ one whispered while the other ones laughed. _You’ll need it._

 

-x-

 

  
“Kakashi,” Sakura asks casually as she stirs her coffee, “What do you look for in a woman?”

 

“Sakura.” He is smiling, looking over his book so she can only see his eyes. “You’re interested in me?”

 

“What?” She flushes a deep crimson. If only he knew.

 

“Well, I’m into more experienced woman, but I suppose I can make an exception this time…” Kakashi winks suggestively.

 

“No! I need to know who to set you up with!” She ignores the cracking sounds that come with those words.

 

“Oh?” He looks mildly disappointed. “Well, they have to be experienced.”

 

“Seriously!”

 

“I’m being serious.” He pouts for a moment before continuing. “Fine…they should be able to take care of themselves, confident…”

 

As Sakura listens to him, she hears more cracking and splintering, feels a small ache grow bigger. She can never be any of those things, never reach his level.

 

“Well.” She smiles fakely—and he doesn’t notice. Everything is one-sided, she realized, everything.

 

Maybe even the friendship.

 

“What? But I wasn’t finished!” Kakashi is flipping through his book, trying to get a picture.

 

“I don’t want to look in that thing!” Sakura glares at him until he finally stops flipping, muttering something about men and how perverted they all are.

 

“I have a friend, Anko-san. She’s…well, I think you’ll like her. Want to meet her?”

 

(She will always love him—)

 

Kakashi looks at her in surprise. “You already have someone?” His face, uncovered, appears over the book and he gives her an honest smile. “I knew you could help.”

 

(—and he will never know.)

 

-x-

 

_There goes another broken heart._


End file.
